trying man

the roots

typically

we are capable of 
far better
and far worse
than we give ourselves
credit for.

we must

by charles bukowski.


we must bring 
our own light
to the
darkness.


nobody is going
to do it
for us.


as the young boys
ski
down the 
slopes


as the fry cook
gets his last
paycheck


as dog chases
dog


as the chessmaster
loses more than
the game


we must bring
our own light
to the darkness.


nobody is going
to do it 
for us,


as the lonely
telephone
anybody
anywhere


as the great beast
trembles
in nightmare


as the final season
leaps into
focus


nobody is going
to do it
for us.

our town

do you think it could happen?

if you think it can it can.

the run.

my least favorite colors look good right now. they are in the sky ending day starting something that shivers. she did, walking by. they are, in the sky. you are somewhere else and that is why i shiver.

/i repent.

not a test.

sometimes x 2

in the short but black commute between the toilet and my bedroom i fear intruders may strike, throwing a sack over my head dragging me down the stairs tossing me in their van and transporting me to mexico where i will end peddling gum or a thief of sorts myself. i worry about this often but think at least id be in mexico.

don juan says:

"focus your attention on the link between you and your death, without remorse or sadness or worrying. focus your attention on the fact that you don't have time and let your acts flow accordingly. let each of your acts be your last battle on earth. only under those conditions will your acts have their rightful power."

jake/allen says:

"pay attention and proclaim beauty."

homesick alien

zachary's guest spot x 3

KEEP SMILING AND GODS RETURN YOUR wah wah wah.

remember to:

picture crowds of people laughing uproariously when you dont feel good. it might make you feel better.

I WISH:

my name was lulu
i could stop thinking about tuna
i could sleep
i hadnt went to sleep in what i wore yesterday
i would stop congratulating myself for being such a    mental genius (what is that?/i have no reason      for this/its keeping me awake)
i was typing with both hands, not one (i also have    no reason for this)
i had a large plate of nachos, or tuna
i drank more water yesterday
i was warmer
i was more disciplined
the name "algonquin" wasnt stuck in my head
someone else was awake right now 
i could decide how i feel about apostrophes
i didnt misspell embarrassing every time i write     it (how ____!)
i knew when to stop
i was more of a lady
i knew the proper way to use was/were
the moon was/were a little closer
for world peace
"you were here"
"i were a little taller"
i had better hygiene

one's move

-

the last few steps

when my shoes get holes

overdoing it

wondering if my outfit is appropriate

hereditary diseases

thinking i see someone i miss in their car (but its   just the same car)

the fact that i am not one of those people who can   do several things at once

my stomach

that dresser

extreme hunger

long fingernails

lights on in the day

seeing someone i know and wondering if i should say   hi

being referred to as a woman

wet floors

muscular legs

having to pee when youre walking/on the bus/         anywhere but a toilet (unless it gets you out of   a potentially awkward situation)

heart palpitations (unless theyre out of love)

dog/cat/anyones eye boogers

flaky foods

fake art deco "art"

waiting for drugs to kick in

$$ (unless i have it)

fines of any kind

1-4 pm

discarded shoes on sidewalks

dizzy spells

black coffee

dry skin

bravado

the smell of cat poop

the song "its raining men"

stucco anything

social anxiety

workout gear

to do lists

running

blinds

honking as a form of flirtation

things placed crookedly

feeling frantic

misunderstandings

most modern interpretations of traditional tattoos

olives (except for the name)

funerals

talking about art

when my ipod is too loud but my hands are full.

+

hispanic families

naked people statues

jennifer aniston (when sad, sick or hungover)

alliteration

old buildings

getting home before sunset

movies set in the northwest

messy hair

lace anything

red cars

teenagers

cereal (though i dont eat it)

astrology (though i know nothing)

a very specific length dress

99 cent stores

90s sitcoms

mix cds

the smell of bacon

channeling others

the day after it rains

organization

peeling paint

paper (once written on)

my dads most honest/jim browns laugh

television as company

bedrooms

the phrase "how about it?"

the word "actually"

our house in the day

pre/post award shows

putting on dirty clothes after showering

jack johnson

scotch tape

mild hunger

fleetwood mac

old ladies

mini marshmallows

fiona apple (as a person)

711

venice (ca)

public libraries

hip hop music

feeling hydrated

the idea of running

donut shops

sun on my back

tree lined streets

warm evenings

the idea of black coffee

mexican food

reggae music

solitude

eye contact

the light between day/night

dreams that feel relevant

knowing that anything i dislike now i will likely     eventually like.